April, 2009
My Girls
There is no doubt that few men get the honor of raising and being involved with their kids to the extent that I was blessed to have. If they had any idea as to how rewarding it is, more would insist on taking several months off of work when their kids are born and then as much time as humanly possible during their careers to spend with them. They have no idea as to the joys of watching them grow, learn and lean on you when things do not go their way; of being the initial contact on those rides home from school. Nor do they have any idea as to how hard it is to let go.
Until the late middle school years we were blessed with predominantly positive experiences from traveling around Europe together as a family, learning to ski, horseback riding in Arizona, to those rides home from school or practice, to just sitting in the back watching the wind blow.
All the time spent with our menagerie of animals too was quite fun, from the squirrel, pheasants, doves, chickens, the rat that Glama Gene loved so well, and all our various cats and wonderful dogs.
Training the dogs was quite fun and I recall well Courtney, at a very young age, on the back hill with Sula, our best dog ever, "Come Sula, Sit Sula, Stay Sula!" with Sula doing EVERYTHING the instant she was told. That dog was the greatest and Benji too is quite a sweetheart.
Courtney was very confident and we were always afraid her lack of fear would land her in trouble as she never saw a stranger or a danger. Once when at the local pool after, thank G-d, I had already gotten in, she runs up to the edge and jumps into the pool, even though she had no idea yet how to swim. Needless to say the swimming lessons were on the calendar shortly thereafter. Then there was the time we got a call from her day care that she'd climbed up a tree and onto the ROOF of the building somewhere around 3 or 4 years old. I'm sure by the time she moved from Lafayette Montessori, Courtney had helped them plug every one of their security holes as I'm quite sure she found each and every one. Somehow she had managed to get out of the gate and was found waiting outside holding the hands of one of the younger kids waiting for their parent to arrive. Once very special incident to me, was shortly after Jordan was born. We soon noticed that every time dad held the new baby, Courtney, would walk up and insist on holding her. She recognized well the smile, the look of total love, but this time it was aimed in the wrong direction, and the only thing she knew for sure was, it was not aimed at her. Indeed there was a new princess in town, and she was feeling a little unsure as to the motives of this new born apparent competition. Her mom noticed too and one day asked her, “How come when I hold the baby it's OK, but when dad holds the baby, you take her away. Courtney said, without hesitation, “That's cuz he's my fun!” Thus my new nickname from mom became “Mr. Fun; needless to say this was never to be forgotten, well by Mr. Fun, anyway. During her annual trip to see her family in Arizona, Mema told us Courtney had asked her, “Can I go down the street to so and so's?” Mema replied, “No honey, if something happened to you I'd just die. To which Courtney replied, “Yes you would die because my mom and dad would kill you!”
Jordan on the other hand, gave no such worries, she stayed close and took a little more time to get to know people; this was true even as an infant. A stranger in the store would stop by, say hello and give her a smile. This, at 2 months, would trigger fierce cries of “who's that?” unknown mug. She literally torchered, accidentally of course, her Great Grandmother when they first met, and Jordan wanted nothing to do with her. Well at least until it was her own choice, as when Mema started showing attention to Courtney, then she decided Mema must be ok after all. One had to sit back and be patient and then, when it was her choice, she'd come around. Mema adored her granddaughters and told us while we were away Courtney had done something wrong. Mema said I told her, “That's a bad girl.” in the dated ways of her day, to which Courtney fiercely replied, “I am NOT a bad girl, what I did was bad!” and in probably an equally authoritative tone; and of course she was correct. Mema laughed and said, “You'd thought I'd hit her.” Another funny story during that trip was when Jordan had walked up to Pepa offering something she had hidden, cupped in her hand. He extended his hand and said, “What'cha got their sweetheart?”. After taking full possession of the secret, and adjusting his glasses to examine his new prize. He let's out “Oh my!”. She had gone potty in the bathroom, but not quite in the correct place. The result was now sitting in the palm of Pepa's hand with he not quite sure what to do next.
We also discovered at the annual Walnut Creek parade that Clowns were not one of her favorite creatures, au contraire; the distorted faces of clowns were downright freaky. The four of us were sitting near the curb, Courtney next to me and Jordan sitting on her mom's lap in front. When the first Clown came by and got a little too close for comfort, she jumped out of her mothers lap and into the larger, and farther, lap of her very protective father; yes, she wanted the big guns for these ugly creatures.
On another occasion when her uncle and I were horsing around and she misunderstood, it seemed like YEARS before she wanted to have anything to do with him for getting physical with her dad. Katrin too experienced this when we were horsing around in the kitchen and Jordan did not know what was going on. Even though she was about knee level to Katrin, who was quite tall, she walked right up to her, smacked her on the leg and ran back to dad; Katrin laughed and we were both amazed at her boldness.
Katrin too was a very special addition to our family from Buesum, a small town on the North Sea, in Germany; she literally merged with our family while here for a year as a foreign exchange student and took great care of both kids. We enjoyed several trips around Europe together, the entire family, all five of us. While in Sweden and boarding a ship going to Rostok, the five of us walked into a crowd of eastern Europeans making the same journey. The entire room of people turned and looked at us like we were Martians; Katrin said it was our brightly colored American style clothes. We drove off the boat through Rostok into the darkness of north eastern Germany, heading for the campground. After about 20 or 30 miles driving through the country, the same city exit sign kept coming up. “Ausfahrt 20K, “Ausfahrt 10K”, then finally “Ausfahrt”. Then, maybe 20 miles or so later the same sequence of signs, came up. I was totally confused as it appeared were somehow going in circles. “Katrin, I called out, “Please help me with the map, somehow we're going around in a circle and keep coming around to Ausfahrt”. She burst into laughter and explained “Ausfahrt” meant “Highway Exit” in German. Then after the late night drive, we finally arrived at our chosen campground. After we all stepped out for a stretch, me running a little behind, Jordan accidentally closed the door before I had gotten in the RV. Katrin said, “Jordan you closed the door on his face.”I quickly put my hands on top of my face and when the door opened said, “My face is soooo sore!” Katrin must have laughed for 10 minutes, and I loved every minute of it. I'll never forget Katrin and our long conversations about world politics. She was such a serious and highly intelligent young lady, and it got to meet and know her at a key time in a young ladies life. This when she was bordering on being a teen, sometimes longing for approval, but leaning more towards having and expressing her ideas and opinions. When we awakened the next morning we were greeted by giant wild Swans floating in the lake. This was a most incredible sight to behold and the only time these birds had ever been viewed in the wild. Others, seemingly in slow motion, came gliding, almost floating slowly down from the sky and gracefully landing in the water. This picture perfect moment of these majestic birds coming in for their morning bath and early spring socializing was far too short lived. There was another conspicuous sign that I'd not bothered to translate and as it was not within my German vocabulary which by then consisted of “Ausfart”. I walked by completely unaware of the dangers that lurked: “Anhanger”, said the sign. At least until the sign caught Katrin's attention. She then announces that we'd taken our family to a nudist campground and swimming lake. Say what? Well anyone that knows me can imagine the impact of learning this. Quickly the scene is scanned for any possible nakedness that might be lurking about, ready to pounce on my innocent daughters minds. Thank G-d we'd taken the early spring trip, thought I, it was about 35 degrees outside, and any “Anhangers” would at least be hidden under a coat. The kids were quickly gathered up, hustled into the RV, nearly getting air on the first bump down the dirt road towards the exit. Rocks were flying, but at least my young ladies were “safe” from any Anhangers and yes, we drove off far too quickly from literally a “Swan Lake”. It's worth commenting on how aware, at least I, became of the differences between the European and American cultures on nudity as this was not uncommon on public beaches; regardless of age or body type.
Jordan's having to walked in the shadow of her much older sister too did not help with her confidence and she had to work harder for her grades, which she always did like the summer before her seventh grade at WCI during which we both learned quite a bit. The following semester she landed on the honor role and we were all quite proud of her achievement. Every so often, her full potential would manifest as it did when she played the reporter in her school play of “The Three Little Pigs” in front of a standing room only crowd. The true and inner Jordan had was definitely on display that day as it would manifest many times throughout her childhood when the right coaches or teachers were there to accommodate her personality and visual orientation. She was my "you say jump" and she'd say "How high" kid.
Courtney was potty trained before she could walk, and even before she could speak really; if memory serves it was around six months. Her first word after mommy and daddy was 'Ba'. This meant she had to go to the bathroom and wanted to be placed on the potty. I'll never forget coming home and the baby sitter said, “She just kept saying “ba”, “Ba”, “BA!”, when we had forgotten to tell her what that meant. Not to mention being able to read quite well by the age of three. Teaching her was a simple matter of acting like we were keeping something from her, like I-C-E C-R-E-A-M. Every time we'd spell something, that little blond head would turn down and the brain would crank into high gear. Being the first born child of an avid, and retentive, reader, I had decided that sugar was bad and that we were going to keep this evil from her. Being possibly the only family in California with such a limitation this was doomed and to be as successful declaring water off limits. This likely eventuality first manifested after taking her to Phoenix to visit and being in a coffee shop with Grandma Honey. Her grandmother ordered a large ice cream desert and it was delivered dripping in chocolate and nuts. When retentive dad noticed her ogling the chocolaty delight, she was told, “That's Yucky Courtney.” Without hesitation she replied, “No yucky Goood”. Little did we know this unknown conspiracy was to lead to was to be known as “The Great Ding Dong” caper when she was about 3 years old. It was now certain the secret of sugar had somehow leaked, the kid was probably trading her entire lunch of nuts, fruits, carrots and a sandwich for but a single Ding Dong. Montessori told us she had been found in the lunch room snarfing the Ding Dongs out of other kids lunches. This was the final sign of what a truly Ding Dong I was for believing this policy would ever work.
Jordan, while on the shy side, soon lost her fears and had developed into someone that was quite gifted with people; many a parent came up to me and commented on what a sweet girl she was. She always wanted to please and to do exactly, or more usually, of what was expected of her. She was the hardest worker and quite gifted in the arts. This talent for the arts first revealed itself while still in the crib and what must have been her first art project was found on the adjacent wall. Her choice of “painting” media was quite limited in there, but let's just say she used what she had and an artist was born. She chose the single color available to her which was 'earth tone' brown. I'll also never forget the first time she responded to my morning 'Hi Jordan' with her own 'hi' in response. Off I ran to get her mom to hear her new achievement only to have her flat refuse to repeat what she'd said; this was the complete opposite of Courtney who loved performing her new skills on demand. Jordan could also write a poem in five minutes that would strike a deep chord in everyone's heart; quite an amazingly talent she had with emotions, feelings and words. She also has a type of wisdom that was as deep as the ocean and at times would come out with some of the most profound statements. One was “It must be hard being a tree.” Why, I said? “Because you have to be so still.” While it took Jordan longer to learn a task or lesson she seemed to have a deeper wisdom at applying this new knowledge; indeed, inside this girl lies a talented writer waiting to fully manifest. Courtney on the other remembered and questioned everything. Like the time she was told, “Nothing is free” and of course sooner or later I'd end up eating my words like the time free cookies were available at the local store. “See dad, some things are free!” In fact, naturally, the best things in life are free. Or “There's nothing you cannot do if you set your mind to it.”. To which she replied, “Oh yeah, what if I wanted to fly?” O.K., ya got me on that one. These were like challenges to her and no sooner than she was told then she'd set her mind to out smarting me; which frequently she did. Courtney's also a talented 'lateral' thinker and this became apparent when she was quite young. Once after taking over a critical project at St. Lukes in SF, the team was meeting at our house. We needed something we could put on the wall for project specifications and then take down to save. Courtney seemed to be listening in on the meeting and happen to overhear me stating we need those white sheets of plastic to put up on the wall upon which to write. She said, “What about the white garbage bags?” It was the perfect solution, and better yet in the cabinet nearby. That simple solution that had escaped the brains of 5 or 6 adults was found by a 9 year old and I said, “That was brilliant Courtney! Her reply was, “Really?” Every time I'd tell her something she done very well, she'd always say, “You're just saying that's because you're my dad.” Wrong! Little did the world know we were the proud owners of two of the smartest “blonds” in Walnut Creek. Another rather dicey moment was when Courtney made a reference to her moving out. I said, while filled with terror at the thought, “Well, once you move out you're out and cannot come back.” She said, “Oh dad, if I was hungry on the sidewalk you'd let me back in.” Another time Courtney went missing and every parent knows the fear this strikes into their heart. After looking high and low for what seemed like an eternity, I said to her mom, “Well we'd better call the police.” at which point Courtney said from under her bed, “Here I am...” She'd been hiding under the bed listening to us go crazy searching for her. I think this was a left over from another time when she did not get her way at about 7, and said, “Ok, then I'm leaving.” and we said, “Well Ok if that's what you really want.”. After a short time she came back and we learned later was very shocked we would actually allow her to leave. Apparently, she did not realize she'd never left our sight for a minute, but I recalled feeling a heart pang that in her head at that time anyway, she felt we'd just let her run away.
They were both also gifted with a very unusual courage as both were willing to go toe-to-toe with boys in their respective sports, football and basketball. Courtney by choice, was the first girl ever to play freshman football at Acalanes High School. Jordan, due to some circumstances with a CYA team, and with just a little push, played as the only girl on a boys basketball team; she did very, very well. One of her coaches said if the boys on his team worked as hard as Jordan they'd be a much better team, of course this was no surprise as this everyday hard work really defines Jordan.
Courtney too was a very hard worker on things that were important, things she really loved and/or wanted. Doing water polo literally treading water for two hours with her low fat body type, in addition to two hours of of full contact football, she was drilled into Marine shape. The first week she came home and said, "Dad, this is too much, I'm going to drop the water polo!" I said, "Oh no Courtney, you drop anything, you drop the football." That girl stuck both sports out for the full season and few, *if any*, boys that age could have done that. I must have been the only parent on the side lines hoping their kid would not be sent in to play. Courtney's physiotype was very unique, apparently, because when we were in Germany people would not give mom or Jordan strange stares; Polish genes perhaps. Courtney and I on the other hand were made to feel like we were from another planet.
Jordan and Courtney both are very sensitive, have huge hearts, are absolutely brilliant in their own respective, differing ways, and far too pretty for their and my own good. In fact they were both far too beautiful and sweet for any father's good, but what's really special is in their hearts and heads; their passion and courage was far beyond most of their age of either sex. There can be no doubt that these are indeed two of Walnut Creeks best and brightest young ladies, despite many attempts to give alternate impressions.
