Just as a matter of dumb luck my sister was asked a question and I learned why my daughters had not been calling and Jordan had changed her number. The latter had been receiving periodic telephone messages, in my voice, with background on her mom; assuming it was recorded it must have been recorded during the divorce. In March of this year my cousin had received multiple text messages that manifested to me as "Stop" and "Don't" messages one fairly soon after the other on my screen as I was reading email.
As I happen to be on my computer at the time, I responded immediately, "Are you trying to confuse me?" When I then called and said I was clueless as to what he was speaking of, he was livid and said, "Don't you f__k with me you so and so", and with a few other more colorful threats that shall go unrepeated at this time; he too had a very colorful language skills
It took a month or so, but it appears he now believes me, but my baby seems to not believe me and this is very frustrating; the timing was just after her mom had helped me though a difficult time with my mom's passing and another disaster had happened in Jordan's life. It suddenly occurred to me that this nemesis had finally made a mistake. That, due to the timing, no one would believe I'd pile onto my daughter at this terrible time. Guess I'm getting 'stupider' in my old age as even with physical photographic evidence of tampering with the phone wires in my attic this turned out to be wrong!
It was shocking especially since the biggest issue between my sister and me has been her lying over the years to protect herself and the opposite had never transpired, I do not believe, on even a single occasion. On one occasion, in a very difficult circumstance, where several non-truths or 'forgotten' key facts had transpired, it was suggested that I tape record a conversation with Wendy and my mom; with which I agreed and did in fact do.
Several months later Wendy sprung the very difficult question on me and the truth was forthcoming. I've always given her a hard time when she had been unable to cough up the truth in a far less threatening situations and in fact this was the single largest issue with our failure to become close. She used to say, "You make me lie!". Meaning by asking her questions about which she was unable to tell the truth. I became so conditioned to this fact, that it became an assumption, when there was motive that she had in fact lied and personally cannot recall a single incident where this feeling was wrong.
Even during my recent divorce when I wanted to open her eyes to something, she told me "I do not speak to her about you and I do not want to speak to you about her." She claimed to wish to remain neutral in a nasty divorce where my ex suddenly started acting like her best friend; this after decades of complaining about her in various ways. My fear was that due to my sisters extreme naivete, that my ex was likely using her for something. Within a month or two my lovely sis, had heard me make a complaint about something Viki and done and she said, "Well then why are you still having sex with her?" I had to laugh, because that's kind of personal information for someone remaining 'neutral' to have. On the other hand she pointed out that women do the same things when they've been mistreated is various ways and this was a big eyeopener to me; due to my disability I had become dependent and far too tolerant.
In any case it was very upsetting to learn that my kid was still being harassed and I decided to report the action to the police. A letter was sent to the Clayton PD explaining the situation to the police was sent and a female officer was requested. It was explained, in detail, that my phone had been bugged and that someone had spoofed my voice. Someone at Clayton PD, perhaps Decoit, designed part of the questioning thusly to Jordan, "Have you received weird or threatening messages on the telephone?" In other words the question was designed to allow a negative response and then a complaint to internal affairs was written complaining of this obvious fact. It's disturbing to finally see this harassment is deeply dependent on the local police departments. Who else would make the calls to the hotels or other private businesses to allow harassments that happens in these other venues?
Is this a Freemason thing or a Federal thing?
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Nurse Olivia's RedPillReich Rocks
You must read this incredible person's blog. She graduated with honors from a top 10 nursing school and has accumulated a mountain of information on her blog "RedPillReich".
Her name is Nurse Olivia, an incredible nurse, and the classic American Patriot par none. She's also braved the medical MAFIA that exists throughout the American health care system. Dare to say anything they dislike, which of course means gets in the way of the profitability of the pharmaceutical industry and your 'luck' will turn on a dime; this is the typical method of silencing someone that has taken a stand on something they've stumbled across in which the system seems to have a vested interest.
She too found the correlation of the American sickness industry and perpetuating of disease. When she started reporting on same, practicing what we all think of as our 'right to free speech', she was apparently threatened and finally had to throw in the towel on maintaining her website.
In one very long Medical Expose she enumerates all the credible alternative therapies it took me eight months to find.
Her name is Nurse Olivia, an incredible nurse, and the classic American Patriot par none. She's also braved the medical MAFIA that exists throughout the American health care system. Dare to say anything they dislike, which of course means gets in the way of the profitability of the pharmaceutical industry and your 'luck' will turn on a dime; this is the typical method of silencing someone that has taken a stand on something they've stumbled across in which the system seems to have a vested interest.
She too found the correlation of the American sickness industry and perpetuating of disease. When she started reporting on same, practicing what we all think of as our 'right to free speech', she was apparently threatened and finally had to throw in the towel on maintaining her website.
In one very long Medical Expose she enumerates all the credible alternative therapies it took me eight months to find.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Message in a Bottle
Hello there! I'm sorry this is so long, but it's very important and I hope and pray that you will make it through.
One thing that never occurred to me is to how it likely made mom feel about my (perhaps over) reactions to the book 'Reviving Ophelia'. It's bad enough to know there are those that believe gifting and having your self 'made pretty' is the basis for a solid relationship with children, but to twist this into 'Shopping is bad for you', as was done by Wendy, is just plain silly. It is however, totally consistent with the other spins made on the numerous issues that occurred that either belittled me or made me look paranoid or just plain silly as was the case with the 'Dana trained her dog to pee on just my foot routine.'
How anyone with girls that's read Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls could not feel compelled to interject this information into their daughter's lives as young as possible is impossible for a father of two to understand.
But I ask you to question were moms ill feelings about my wanting the best for Jordan, in those critical years, or was is about about how that and other information was twisted into fodder for very emotional gossip that tore at the center of who she was? I vote is was the latter and that she had help with someone close pouring gasoline on every issue that popped up. She was a manicurist and nothing was ever said about NEVER doing these things, but to not ALWAYS do these things; not to have it define the relationship.
It's pretty easy when you review what passed for gossip being spread by my sister, also the questions and statements mom made to me that she was reacting to someone else. I believe that to be Wally, and if she told you some of the details of her life there, too like I would have begged her to come live with you, but he had some sort of hold on her that I'm only beginning to understand and it is somewhat speculative.
Some might feel bad at not being able to set her straight on these following absolute truths before she departed, but on the contrary, she now knows the full truth. She's also in much better hands than she was of late on this earth. If I'd known earlier how this was twisted around, it would have been clarified with her face to face. If would have been pointed out how the influences we all have in our lives, sometimes by those that we choose to have close, can be quite destructive to more important relationships in our family. Especially if they, for whatever reason, seek to demonize, or even seek to minimize the relationship or what the person is experiencing, and/or as was the case with several 'fake friends' have ulterior motives and use their friendship to further harm our most important relationships with those that truly love us unconditionally.
The rehashing of hurtful mistakes on the part of friends, to fan the flames of hurt and ill feelings, was a consistent pattern with the kids 'fake friends' and clearly a 'marker' that can be used to identity similar friends we may all have.
It certainly is a fact of psychology that a child that is split from a very close parent, regardless of any brainwashing, whether figurative or literal mind control is destined for anxiety and serious troubles as suddenly the source of their information and self esteem is suddenly gone. I was always very encouraging to both girls and I'll never forget Courtney saying, "You just think that because you're my dad." and this was only somewhat true.
It's also a well known fact that a kid that's had poisons interjected on a parent that conflict with those which they know at a very deep level, due to having experienced them their entire life, is going to have trouble. This is just common sense.
Emotional poisons were a regular part of our lives for over 15 years, just at differing levels and using differing entrance points. The knowledge of and failure to recognize these acts within the family, on the part of the girls, who experienced them more with their circles of friends, than I really, confused me more than anything. I believe this was effective due to the people that were either worked into our family or were flipped for personal gain. (ie. IMHO, Wally and Ida.)
The social poisons within our community of friends started being interjected into our lives as early as Courtney's last year at Palmer. This by the teacher that announced to the class there was a missing article and then later announced it had been found in Courtney's locker. She made it look like Courtney had stolen some article, but was then stupid enough to put it into her own wide open cubby locker for the 'teacher' to 'find'. She immediately came home all upset and told me what had happened; Viki and went down and spoke to the principal over it being used to poison her relationships.
Similar random acts of poison continued throughout both of their public school experiences as well, with periodic poisonings within the our family as well; the latter continued through the last weeks. These poisons first effected each of us as individuals within our circles of friends; early on at several different contracts when before this was very rare and only with people I knew that had motives, not complete strangers with no visible motive. Ultimately they tore at the essence of the most important entity to every person, every country and to our very planet: the family unit. Herein lies the most important aspect of this war of social isolation of the targeted individual and why they will always be carried out by the 'nicest' people you will ever know. These acts of social and familial sabotage require infiltration of the friend and family networks, and to infiltrate one must have top flight social skills.
It was then shocking and angering to see Jordan being used in a divorce case after she had been Mobbed at school; this put her over the top and later when I learned of Mind Control/SRA, and it's connection to several powerful private domains, made me wonder if Viki could have been literally brainwashed. Again, this was much later once this technology was found and several symptoms thereof were recalled in her. (Ida too presented with O.C.D. symptoms and her daughter Kelly was said, by Ida, to have "come home brainwashed from Santa Rosa". Ida did not present with the dilated pupils that Jordan and Viki did, and I believe her motivations were more for personal family gain, but she would not report the child abuse she and I were witnessing to her own grandchildren and some of it was over the top like physical abuse to Nathan, Liam and tons of neglect.)
The rancid poisons spread within and by those I care most about and their effects continue to this very day and they're no more true about me then they were about my girls. It baffles me to no end how those that lived with or knew me for decades could believe them. Little by little their inner feelings were overridden with outward appearances indicating otherwise; there is also the fact of these missing memories, the first of which manifested in Mema, then Mom and Wendy who has no known excuse to have forgotten the very serious memory of her 'designed coincidence' of being coerced into settling her sexual harassment suit via her TV being moved into the center of her living room. As I told the WCPD, when it appeared they thought I'd broken some law, I'm still willing to take the "100% accurate", Brain Fingerprint to prove, beyond all doubt, these are ALL just social poisons, created for the purpose of divide and conquer; that my girls were fantastic ladies and that I had more to do with this than anyone; at least until the harassment started and they were not given a fair shake by the public school system; not even close. Furthermore, there are several very credible motives that could be the underlying trigger with circumstantial and physical evidence to back them up. I now know the ranking officers are not only fully aware of these tactics, but some departments employ some of them on any of their own staff they'd like to move along. It's a well known tenet of psychology, that minus any serious psychological injury, people do not develop mid-life mental illnesses; that in fact these always present early in life usually as a kid as my ADHD did, or at puberty. (The statements by two members of my family that "I've always been paranoid" are based on their lack of knowledge of things like fluoride, x-rays and Teflon; one of the reasons for these feelings was a person that Viki knew that could not be trusted, both Wendy and mom were warned and they called me paranoid. (Curiously he did come back and try to steal Wendy's money, yet the feeling did not change.)
Frankly I'm a little surprised that some of you cannot step back and see the overall picture of the poisons just within the family. This is likely due to having only the pieces of your individual experiences and portions of a very poisonous 'pie'. The overall picture, at the personal level with our network of friends, to the family level, is quite consistent and these poisons remaining within the family were the coup de gras in the isolation war.
However, now that I'm aware of and recognize past symptoms of literal brainwashing, I'm starting to lose hope of this issue ever rectifying itself as if they will believe that I'd pass poisons on to Jordan about her mom just after she'd attempted to take her life, then they'd believe anything. Not to mention ignoring the hard physical evidence of a wiretap in our attic,
this on top of the mountain of anecdotal evidence of bugs of some sort. However sloppy it was those two clearly white tabs on the wires are where they were spliced back together then the wiretap operation was complete. Those telephone wires had been buried under 6-9 inches on insulation when we had our attic insulated as part of the PG&E special program with Diablo Insulation. [It's amazing how many businesses and places have 'Diablo' as part of their moniker; the WCPD has a 666 in their address, coincidentally of course.]
These poisons of gossip first tore at our network of friends in the community, at the schools via the 'whisper network', with some of my business friends that I'd just met at Peoplesoft and Pinnicle Rock, and they then tore at our relationships with each other. Gossip was passed directly within the family via overheard conversations and frequently negative assumptions made about them; sometimes this was accidental and other times it was not, but was the result of hurt feelings or plain old survival instincts, if not greed. Sometimes this information was affected by the feelings of betrayal or erroneous feelings about that person as happened with Mema. These emotions can take a fact and turn it into a tale. With each step gossip takes it's affected by the feelings of the recipient of the subject and it takes on a completely new life of its own. It quickly becomes something quite different that the original perceived transgression; if there was a transgression at all. If the targets of the gossip, or their children, can be lured into a social faux pas, people that in their hearts know the person best start to question whether they were wrong.
This gossip was more recently was passed indirectly via secondary "family" members on some ancient skeletons of half truth. Previously, poisons were attempted to be interjected via minor car 'accidents' on the part of what some call “fake friends” with family vehicles. This was recognized as possibly such and I nipped it in the bud as I did not want Courtney and Jordan's relationship to be affected. Gossip passed directly through our network of friends via misstatements and 'misquotes' in school newspapers. The gossip and Mobbing material that was manufactured by teachers, hinting through meta-communications, that my kids were cheaters and thieves happened several times and at each school. I believe each and every time I was told which highly suggests it was all lies; just as the suggestions with the stolen jewelry that happened with Courtney when she was invited to a new 'friends' house. While I knew better every single time, due to knowing my kids, why do they not equally know me? I'm the one that told them to "Always tell the truth", to "Always be respectful of the feelings of others."; the latter was easy for them as they have very good hearts that were ripped to shreds by this system of isolating them from their decent childhood friends.
When Courtney went off to Cal Poly, further gossip material was setup through several vehicles. The most serious was the 'photo shoot'. She was well motivated to participate by someone that was said to have "connections to Hollywood where she could be discovered." She was first put into a black bathing suit and then switched into a winter month. Then it was just a matter of coaching, and leveraging a teens natural desire to want to be a model, to show the top of the bathing suit, “It's only a bathing suit!”. This, naturally was left off the byline, and the image was published, but I knew better. I know how my kids were pre-brainwashing and I don't believe that can be undone permanently.
One wonders if that's the function of these periodic pill popping incidents with Jordan. To get her into the 'mental care' facility to 'tune up' or continue her brainwashing. (It's common knowledge some California mental health hospitals were quite active in the re-programming research going on with the Feds under several programs, including MKULTRA and it's sub projects.
I believe the reason for the blindness to what's going on with me is there are few that know the overall picture; in fact there's only one. (ME) Some due to the anxiety believing there's something scary going on would cause, some because “it's negative” and don't want to know negative information; these types chose ignorance, but still retained their unfounded opinions, feelings and strong judgments despite missing half the information on the problem.
However, I am sure you all know the destructive nature of gossip and how an innocent truth can take on the life of monstrous deeds if the gossiper has ill feelings or even ulterior motives. How you not seen the experiment with five people lined up and then the first person is told a story? Each person, without these features of ill feelings or motives, in line is told a story and at after the last person is told the story they final version is repeated out loud and compared to the first. The difference was quite shocking, but when you add to the “line of people” hurt feelings, anger, greed or ill motives the information is twisted beyond any resemblance of the actual truth. I will never forget when Jordan had witnessed 'respected' peers modeling gossip for her. She said, “I thought it was what you were supposed to do.” She then said, “But when I did it I got in trouble!” (ie. With her peer 'friends'.)
The book mentioned above was a large part of what made me want mom to use museums, parks, zoos, buy books and encourage you to enrich your brain. To have incredible conversations like we used to have that resulted in deep thoughts I'll never forget. These moments are the treasures that we all have with our kids. Besides providing a context for a deeper relationship, I felt those other activities like shopping or being 'made pretty', that are dominant in our culture, said, via meta-communications, my kids were not good enough just the way they were and also encouraged materialism. As you were being blasted by those images from numerous other media sources it did not unreasonable, at the time, to request that mom do otherwise with her granddaughter and as soon as she agreed appointments to do these things were made and if anyone is saying this was just my doing they are not being truthful. (Whether these were followed through with are another story as I believe mom was being encouraged to do things that could further cause rifts, like ignoring what we wanted for our kid and do what she thought was 'fun', enriching or sweet. :) Are relationships built on gifting and material things well founded? The best relationships in my life were built on just spending time together doing nothing but walking in a forest, camping, sitting and talking about what we saw, nature, the stars, fond memories or whatever came up. You know those special people that require no activity, no entertainment to enjoy their company.
Of course knowing what I now know now every minute you should have spent with mom would have been important, but how was I to know she'd get a tumor and be referred to three malpracticing doctors in a row?
It should not have astonished me to learn how all this was twisted and taken out of context into such negative propaganda as "Shopping is bad for you" or having your hair or nails done "is bad for you" or that "mom was a bad influence". However, have no doubt, Wally's long term, usually subtle, jabs of disrespect towards her and me, the twisting of truths and internal fire-fanning was what damaged my relationship with my mom, but when her life was threatened it seemed to vanish. This went on for most of their relationship and in tandem with the most difficult time of my life watching my young teenage girls take on serious attack after attack. How many teenage girls in a Walnut Creek School has to deal with gang threats to their life? (BOTH MINE DID; assuming their memories are in tact.) Is it true that “a lie if told often enough and long enough eventually becomes the truth.” (That and whatever was causing her memories to disappear and completely fabricated information to appear in their place; the latter often caused her to react with piercing verbal comments during what should have been special events like Courtney's graduation.)
Another issue I recall was our decision to have two separate birthday celebrations to have a peaceful birthday minus public scenes of displeasure from expectations that we should pay regardless of the cost; these were with our immediate family and then the greater family at another event. This triggered by the very uncomfortable public scene and expectations made during the birthday dinners for Court and Wendy at Scots Seafood in Walnut Creek; what's odd is that even though this was a mutual agreement between Viki and I this too was twisted to my request. Viki had been very upset at Wendy's constant 'forgetting' to pay her share and then denying it; Viki used and saved emails on the last occasion that happened during Pepa's funeral over a rental van, and Wendy's 'recollection' was forced to be recanted; I doubt any remuneration transpired however and this despite I drove all the way from Phoenix in the rental truck she used to bring back her inheritances from Mema. We had those celebrations to have good quality and peaceful time with family and Wendy's never apologizing or taking responsibility for her actions indicated a complete lack of remorse; we wanted peaceful and predictable birthday celebrations with our girls. To further stir the pot, Wally pointed out to mom that he once picked up Chinese food that including "my good friend Gladys". Gladys was mom's friend and yet she actually repeated his words to me. She was already very ill or something to not recall this.
During Court's HS graduation party Wally had mom make the comment that “we just stopped by to eat.” Wendy's words that “Wally's an ass” is a gross understatement; he'd been stirring the pot of trouble for well over ten years and he was affecting mom's behavior by spoon feeding her anger. IMHO, his forcing mom to watch over and over scenes of people being cut, shot or maimed on TV, via their TIVO was abuse; mom said they were so traumatizing she had to close her eyes. She said for “him it was like a roller coaster ride”; a sort of high watching people get hurt. What type of person gets a high off of this sort of human to human horror?
One of Wally's first big slams to mom was the time was at Wendy's party when I asked him where his better half was. He responded 'Who? Bear?' and said nothing when I walked away. Then later he told Wendy and mom he was “just kidding”; this is a well used boilerplate corporate political response, coincidentally I'm sure.
Wendy called me once and asked, "Is it true you're part of a group that wants to overthrow the government?" This is exactly, word for word, what was asked. After I stopped laughing she was asked where that came from; she said mom told her. How could mom alone have interpreted that from my being involved in an activist group attempting to literally stop the legislation that would do the opposite? (Another irony is when I told mom that this “offshoring/non-immigrant visa” issue was going to crash our economy, that it had been done before and always seems to happen in capitalism, mom's response was that she's not going to live to see it; my response was that she would. I certainly wish she had been wrong. The activist group to which I belonged was trying to stop the economic mistake made by the Roman Patriarchs in their economy. Do you, Jordan, recall your hard work during your 6th grade summer, prepping for 7th grade social studies? This was where we learned together when the Patriarchs of Rome were coached into replacing their local workforce with too many slaves from the conquests; it crashed their economy. Ironically, America has still not done anything to reverse this same "mistake" called “Offshoring”. However, it was 1998 when Clinton signed the so-called "American Competitiveness Act" that accelerated this rerun of the Roman “mistake”.
All these sayings attributed to me, each and every one, are twisted, if not fabricated versions some with a hint truth. They were also pulled completely out of context for the purposes of creating trouble. What other explanation could there be? Just like the one leveraging the normal behavior of a jealous dog, by standing in "my space", was twisted into her "Teaching her dog to pee on just my foot." This is jealous dog behavior 101: get too close to their master, or visa-versa in this case, and they'll "mark you". Wally and Dana then walked over to the gate and Wally loudly said, “Heck let's give him some more water.” But what was the purpose of the twisting and why could no one, apparently, see this and all the other numerous 'jokes'? Like mom niche in her 'lovers' main priorities which as mom put it were 1) His Money, 2) His kids, 3) His Dog, 4) His 'love'
What is embarrassing is it did not even occur to me, in my tunnel vision that mom was in one of these types of businesses for most of her life; a prior life, but still a huge part thereof. She never could talk to me about these feelings which is unfortunate as I do know she too would have wanted whatever was best for you both and the theme of this book is undeniably true. Her ill feelings were, at one point before she was sick, strongly felt, but I stupidly let my hurt feelings as a result of her words get in the way of communications and better relations. This is a very common mistake in my side of the family and this was poorly modeled by me. I hope you can learn from our mistakes and if feathers get ruffled let them first settle down, try to look at the issue through the eyes of the other person and then discuss the issue to iron out the feelings. Frequently, you'll find the cause of discontent is something being heard that was not even said, but assumed on the part of the listener; this will not keep them from insisting on the fact you said what you know you did not. When this was happening with Courtney I put a tape recorder down and when it happened again it was played back. If I recall correctly she was surprised; this was a great learning experience for me, and I'd learned that people sometimes innocently hear things that are not being said. Being a programmer make you a careful listener, sometimes too careful as most others are unaware of the ambiguous nature of verbal communications and software designers listen to what's said not what might be implied.
Instead of acting on mom's feelings I reacted with pain, but said nothing, and then suddenly once she was sick those feelings in her vanished. Just like with Mema, the reasons were never known of until long past the amount of time she could have been expected to recall.
Too often we can just react and in our hurt feelings don't ask questions that would allow detection of whats called 'spin-doctoring' of information. I too made that huge mistake when, almost a full year later, it was learned that Mema was to have said that "I stole from her". Even though mom said she denied using the word 'stole', I believed Jimmy and offered to take every item back. This was almost a full year after the deed had occurred. I was shocked and deeply hurt that Mema, Linda and Gary, could have thought me capable of such things, but after her having told me of her neighbor stealing her toothpaste, this was attributed to her very real paranoia. However, I did end up with a box of stuff that included pellets for their sewer system; that box did have stuff that was not intended to take.
Naturally, I had no way of knowing our time on this earth with her would be so limited and knowing what I know today there would have been a full conversation with her so she did fully understood it was not about her. It WAS, at times, about influences that she'd been raised with that were not within her control, never personal at all, but much more the bad influences that she was being coached into.
One thing that never occurred to me is to how it likely made mom feel about my (perhaps over) reactions to the book 'Reviving Ophelia'. It's bad enough to know there are those that believe gifting and having your self 'made pretty' is the basis for a solid relationship with children, but to twist this into 'Shopping is bad for you', as was done by Wendy, is just plain silly. It is however, totally consistent with the other spins made on the numerous issues that occurred that either belittled me or made me look paranoid or just plain silly as was the case with the 'Dana trained her dog to pee on just my foot routine.'
How anyone with girls that's read Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls could not feel compelled to interject this information into their daughter's lives as young as possible is impossible for a father of two to understand.
But I ask you to question were moms ill feelings about my wanting the best for Jordan, in those critical years, or was is about about how that and other information was twisted into fodder for very emotional gossip that tore at the center of who she was? I vote is was the latter and that she had help with someone close pouring gasoline on every issue that popped up. She was a manicurist and nothing was ever said about NEVER doing these things, but to not ALWAYS do these things; not to have it define the relationship.
It's pretty easy when you review what passed for gossip being spread by my sister, also the questions and statements mom made to me that she was reacting to someone else. I believe that to be Wally, and if she told you some of the details of her life there, too like I would have begged her to come live with you, but he had some sort of hold on her that I'm only beginning to understand and it is somewhat speculative.
Some might feel bad at not being able to set her straight on these following absolute truths before she departed, but on the contrary, she now knows the full truth. She's also in much better hands than she was of late on this earth. If I'd known earlier how this was twisted around, it would have been clarified with her face to face. If would have been pointed out how the influences we all have in our lives, sometimes by those that we choose to have close, can be quite destructive to more important relationships in our family. Especially if they, for whatever reason, seek to demonize, or even seek to minimize the relationship or what the person is experiencing, and/or as was the case with several 'fake friends' have ulterior motives and use their friendship to further harm our most important relationships with those that truly love us unconditionally.
The rehashing of hurtful mistakes on the part of friends, to fan the flames of hurt and ill feelings, was a consistent pattern with the kids 'fake friends' and clearly a 'marker' that can be used to identity similar friends we may all have.
It certainly is a fact of psychology that a child that is split from a very close parent, regardless of any brainwashing, whether figurative or literal mind control is destined for anxiety and serious troubles as suddenly the source of their information and self esteem is suddenly gone. I was always very encouraging to both girls and I'll never forget Courtney saying, "You just think that because you're my dad." and this was only somewhat true.
It's also a well known fact that a kid that's had poisons interjected on a parent that conflict with those which they know at a very deep level, due to having experienced them their entire life, is going to have trouble. This is just common sense.
Emotional poisons were a regular part of our lives for over 15 years, just at differing levels and using differing entrance points. The knowledge of and failure to recognize these acts within the family, on the part of the girls, who experienced them more with their circles of friends, than I really, confused me more than anything. I believe this was effective due to the people that were either worked into our family or were flipped for personal gain. (ie. IMHO, Wally and Ida.)
The social poisons within our community of friends started being interjected into our lives as early as Courtney's last year at Palmer. This by the teacher that announced to the class there was a missing article and then later announced it had been found in Courtney's locker. She made it look like Courtney had stolen some article, but was then stupid enough to put it into her own wide open cubby locker for the 'teacher' to 'find'. She immediately came home all upset and told me what had happened; Viki and went down and spoke to the principal over it being used to poison her relationships.
Similar random acts of poison continued throughout both of their public school experiences as well, with periodic poisonings within the our family as well; the latter continued through the last weeks. These poisons first effected each of us as individuals within our circles of friends; early on at several different contracts when before this was very rare and only with people I knew that had motives, not complete strangers with no visible motive. Ultimately they tore at the essence of the most important entity to every person, every country and to our very planet: the family unit. Herein lies the most important aspect of this war of social isolation of the targeted individual and why they will always be carried out by the 'nicest' people you will ever know. These acts of social and familial sabotage require infiltration of the friend and family networks, and to infiltrate one must have top flight social skills.
It was then shocking and angering to see Jordan being used in a divorce case after she had been Mobbed at school; this put her over the top and later when I learned of Mind Control/SRA, and it's connection to several powerful private domains, made me wonder if Viki could have been literally brainwashed. Again, this was much later once this technology was found and several symptoms thereof were recalled in her. (Ida too presented with O.C.D. symptoms and her daughter Kelly was said, by Ida, to have "come home brainwashed from Santa Rosa". Ida did not present with the dilated pupils that Jordan and Viki did, and I believe her motivations were more for personal family gain, but she would not report the child abuse she and I were witnessing to her own grandchildren and some of it was over the top like physical abuse to Nathan, Liam and tons of neglect.)
The rancid poisons spread within and by those I care most about and their effects continue to this very day and they're no more true about me then they were about my girls. It baffles me to no end how those that lived with or knew me for decades could believe them. Little by little their inner feelings were overridden with outward appearances indicating otherwise; there is also the fact of these missing memories, the first of which manifested in Mema, then Mom and Wendy who has no known excuse to have forgotten the very serious memory of her 'designed coincidence' of being coerced into settling her sexual harassment suit via her TV being moved into the center of her living room. As I told the WCPD, when it appeared they thought I'd broken some law, I'm still willing to take the "100% accurate", Brain Fingerprint to prove, beyond all doubt, these are ALL just social poisons, created for the purpose of divide and conquer; that my girls were fantastic ladies and that I had more to do with this than anyone; at least until the harassment started and they were not given a fair shake by the public school system; not even close. Furthermore, there are several very credible motives that could be the underlying trigger with circumstantial and physical evidence to back them up. I now know the ranking officers are not only fully aware of these tactics, but some departments employ some of them on any of their own staff they'd like to move along. It's a well known tenet of psychology, that minus any serious psychological injury, people do not develop mid-life mental illnesses; that in fact these always present early in life usually as a kid as my ADHD did, or at puberty. (The statements by two members of my family that "I've always been paranoid" are based on their lack of knowledge of things like fluoride, x-rays and Teflon; one of the reasons for these feelings was a person that Viki knew that could not be trusted, both Wendy and mom were warned and they called me paranoid. (Curiously he did come back and try to steal Wendy's money, yet the feeling did not change.)
Frankly I'm a little surprised that some of you cannot step back and see the overall picture of the poisons just within the family. This is likely due to having only the pieces of your individual experiences and portions of a very poisonous 'pie'. The overall picture, at the personal level with our network of friends, to the family level, is quite consistent and these poisons remaining within the family were the coup de gras in the isolation war.
However, now that I'm aware of and recognize past symptoms of literal brainwashing, I'm starting to lose hope of this issue ever rectifying itself as if they will believe that I'd pass poisons on to Jordan about her mom just after she'd attempted to take her life, then they'd believe anything. Not to mention ignoring the hard physical evidence of a wiretap in our attic,
this on top of the mountain of anecdotal evidence of bugs of some sort. However sloppy it was those two clearly white tabs on the wires are where they were spliced back together then the wiretap operation was complete. Those telephone wires had been buried under 6-9 inches on insulation when we had our attic insulated as part of the PG&E special program with Diablo Insulation. [It's amazing how many businesses and places have 'Diablo' as part of their moniker; the WCPD has a 666 in their address, coincidentally of course.]
These poisons of gossip first tore at our network of friends in the community, at the schools via the 'whisper network', with some of my business friends that I'd just met at Peoplesoft and Pinnicle Rock, and they then tore at our relationships with each other. Gossip was passed directly within the family via overheard conversations and frequently negative assumptions made about them; sometimes this was accidental and other times it was not, but was the result of hurt feelings or plain old survival instincts, if not greed. Sometimes this information was affected by the feelings of betrayal or erroneous feelings about that person as happened with Mema. These emotions can take a fact and turn it into a tale. With each step gossip takes it's affected by the feelings of the recipient of the subject and it takes on a completely new life of its own. It quickly becomes something quite different that the original perceived transgression; if there was a transgression at all. If the targets of the gossip, or their children, can be lured into a social faux pas, people that in their hearts know the person best start to question whether they were wrong.
This gossip was more recently was passed indirectly via secondary "family" members on some ancient skeletons of half truth. Previously, poisons were attempted to be interjected via minor car 'accidents' on the part of what some call “fake friends” with family vehicles. This was recognized as possibly such and I nipped it in the bud as I did not want Courtney and Jordan's relationship to be affected. Gossip passed directly through our network of friends via misstatements and 'misquotes' in school newspapers. The gossip and Mobbing material that was manufactured by teachers, hinting through meta-communications, that my kids were cheaters and thieves happened several times and at each school. I believe each and every time I was told which highly suggests it was all lies; just as the suggestions with the stolen jewelry that happened with Courtney when she was invited to a new 'friends' house. While I knew better every single time, due to knowing my kids, why do they not equally know me? I'm the one that told them to "Always tell the truth", to "Always be respectful of the feelings of others."; the latter was easy for them as they have very good hearts that were ripped to shreds by this system of isolating them from their decent childhood friends.
When Courtney went off to Cal Poly, further gossip material was setup through several vehicles. The most serious was the 'photo shoot'. She was well motivated to participate by someone that was said to have "connections to Hollywood where she could be discovered." She was first put into a black bathing suit and then switched into a winter month. Then it was just a matter of coaching, and leveraging a teens natural desire to want to be a model, to show the top of the bathing suit, “It's only a bathing suit!”. This, naturally was left off the byline, and the image was published, but I knew better. I know how my kids were pre-brainwashing and I don't believe that can be undone permanently.
One wonders if that's the function of these periodic pill popping incidents with Jordan. To get her into the 'mental care' facility to 'tune up' or continue her brainwashing. (It's common knowledge some California mental health hospitals were quite active in the re-programming research going on with the Feds under several programs, including MKULTRA and it's sub projects.
I believe the reason for the blindness to what's going on with me is there are few that know the overall picture; in fact there's only one. (ME) Some due to the anxiety believing there's something scary going on would cause, some because “it's negative” and don't want to know negative information; these types chose ignorance, but still retained their unfounded opinions, feelings and strong judgments despite missing half the information on the problem.
However, I am sure you all know the destructive nature of gossip and how an innocent truth can take on the life of monstrous deeds if the gossiper has ill feelings or even ulterior motives. How you not seen the experiment with five people lined up and then the first person is told a story? Each person, without these features of ill feelings or motives, in line is told a story and at after the last person is told the story they final version is repeated out loud and compared to the first. The difference was quite shocking, but when you add to the “line of people” hurt feelings, anger, greed or ill motives the information is twisted beyond any resemblance of the actual truth. I will never forget when Jordan had witnessed 'respected' peers modeling gossip for her. She said, “I thought it was what you were supposed to do.” She then said, “But when I did it I got in trouble!” (ie. With her peer 'friends'.)
The book mentioned above was a large part of what made me want mom to use museums, parks, zoos, buy books and encourage you to enrich your brain. To have incredible conversations like we used to have that resulted in deep thoughts I'll never forget. These moments are the treasures that we all have with our kids. Besides providing a context for a deeper relationship, I felt those other activities like shopping or being 'made pretty', that are dominant in our culture, said, via meta-communications, my kids were not good enough just the way they were and also encouraged materialism. As you were being blasted by those images from numerous other media sources it did not unreasonable, at the time, to request that mom do otherwise with her granddaughter and as soon as she agreed appointments to do these things were made and if anyone is saying this was just my doing they are not being truthful. (Whether these were followed through with are another story as I believe mom was being encouraged to do things that could further cause rifts, like ignoring what we wanted for our kid and do what she thought was 'fun', enriching or sweet. :) Are relationships built on gifting and material things well founded? The best relationships in my life were built on just spending time together doing nothing but walking in a forest, camping, sitting and talking about what we saw, nature, the stars, fond memories or whatever came up. You know those special people that require no activity, no entertainment to enjoy their company.
Of course knowing what I now know now every minute you should have spent with mom would have been important, but how was I to know she'd get a tumor and be referred to three malpracticing doctors in a row?
It should not have astonished me to learn how all this was twisted and taken out of context into such negative propaganda as "Shopping is bad for you" or having your hair or nails done "is bad for you" or that "mom was a bad influence". However, have no doubt, Wally's long term, usually subtle, jabs of disrespect towards her and me, the twisting of truths and internal fire-fanning was what damaged my relationship with my mom, but when her life was threatened it seemed to vanish. This went on for most of their relationship and in tandem with the most difficult time of my life watching my young teenage girls take on serious attack after attack. How many teenage girls in a Walnut Creek School has to deal with gang threats to their life? (BOTH MINE DID; assuming their memories are in tact.) Is it true that “a lie if told often enough and long enough eventually becomes the truth.” (That and whatever was causing her memories to disappear and completely fabricated information to appear in their place; the latter often caused her to react with piercing verbal comments during what should have been special events like Courtney's graduation.)
Another issue I recall was our decision to have two separate birthday celebrations to have a peaceful birthday minus public scenes of displeasure from expectations that we should pay regardless of the cost; these were with our immediate family and then the greater family at another event. This triggered by the very uncomfortable public scene and expectations made during the birthday dinners for Court and Wendy at Scots Seafood in Walnut Creek; what's odd is that even though this was a mutual agreement between Viki and I this too was twisted to my request. Viki had been very upset at Wendy's constant 'forgetting' to pay her share and then denying it; Viki used and saved emails on the last occasion that happened during Pepa's funeral over a rental van, and Wendy's 'recollection' was forced to be recanted; I doubt any remuneration transpired however and this despite I drove all the way from Phoenix in the rental truck she used to bring back her inheritances from Mema. We had those celebrations to have good quality and peaceful time with family and Wendy's never apologizing or taking responsibility for her actions indicated a complete lack of remorse; we wanted peaceful and predictable birthday celebrations with our girls. To further stir the pot, Wally pointed out to mom that he once picked up Chinese food that including "my good friend Gladys". Gladys was mom's friend and yet she actually repeated his words to me. She was already very ill or something to not recall this.
During Court's HS graduation party Wally had mom make the comment that “we just stopped by to eat.” Wendy's words that “Wally's an ass” is a gross understatement; he'd been stirring the pot of trouble for well over ten years and he was affecting mom's behavior by spoon feeding her anger. IMHO, his forcing mom to watch over and over scenes of people being cut, shot or maimed on TV, via their TIVO was abuse; mom said they were so traumatizing she had to close her eyes. She said for “him it was like a roller coaster ride”; a sort of high watching people get hurt. What type of person gets a high off of this sort of human to human horror?
One of Wally's first big slams to mom was the time was at Wendy's party when I asked him where his better half was. He responded 'Who? Bear?' and said nothing when I walked away. Then later he told Wendy and mom he was “just kidding”; this is a well used boilerplate corporate political response, coincidentally I'm sure.
Wendy called me once and asked, "Is it true you're part of a group that wants to overthrow the government?" This is exactly, word for word, what was asked. After I stopped laughing she was asked where that came from; she said mom told her. How could mom alone have interpreted that from my being involved in an activist group attempting to literally stop the legislation that would do the opposite? (Another irony is when I told mom that this “offshoring/non-immigrant visa” issue was going to crash our economy, that it had been done before and always seems to happen in capitalism, mom's response was that she's not going to live to see it; my response was that she would. I certainly wish she had been wrong. The activist group to which I belonged was trying to stop the economic mistake made by the Roman Patriarchs in their economy. Do you, Jordan, recall your hard work during your 6th grade summer, prepping for 7th grade social studies? This was where we learned together when the Patriarchs of Rome were coached into replacing their local workforce with too many slaves from the conquests; it crashed their economy. Ironically, America has still not done anything to reverse this same "mistake" called “Offshoring”. However, it was 1998 when Clinton signed the so-called "American Competitiveness Act" that accelerated this rerun of the Roman “mistake”.
All these sayings attributed to me, each and every one, are twisted, if not fabricated versions some with a hint truth. They were also pulled completely out of context for the purposes of creating trouble. What other explanation could there be? Just like the one leveraging the normal behavior of a jealous dog, by standing in "my space", was twisted into her "Teaching her dog to pee on just my foot." This is jealous dog behavior 101: get too close to their master, or visa-versa in this case, and they'll "mark you". Wally and Dana then walked over to the gate and Wally loudly said, “Heck let's give him some more water.” But what was the purpose of the twisting and why could no one, apparently, see this and all the other numerous 'jokes'? Like mom niche in her 'lovers' main priorities which as mom put it were 1) His Money, 2) His kids, 3) His Dog, 4) His 'love'
What is embarrassing is it did not even occur to me, in my tunnel vision that mom was in one of these types of businesses for most of her life; a prior life, but still a huge part thereof. She never could talk to me about these feelings which is unfortunate as I do know she too would have wanted whatever was best for you both and the theme of this book is undeniably true. Her ill feelings were, at one point before she was sick, strongly felt, but I stupidly let my hurt feelings as a result of her words get in the way of communications and better relations. This is a very common mistake in my side of the family and this was poorly modeled by me. I hope you can learn from our mistakes and if feathers get ruffled let them first settle down, try to look at the issue through the eyes of the other person and then discuss the issue to iron out the feelings. Frequently, you'll find the cause of discontent is something being heard that was not even said, but assumed on the part of the listener; this will not keep them from insisting on the fact you said what you know you did not. When this was happening with Courtney I put a tape recorder down and when it happened again it was played back. If I recall correctly she was surprised; this was a great learning experience for me, and I'd learned that people sometimes innocently hear things that are not being said. Being a programmer make you a careful listener, sometimes too careful as most others are unaware of the ambiguous nature of verbal communications and software designers listen to what's said not what might be implied.
Instead of acting on mom's feelings I reacted with pain, but said nothing, and then suddenly once she was sick those feelings in her vanished. Just like with Mema, the reasons were never known of until long past the amount of time she could have been expected to recall.
Too often we can just react and in our hurt feelings don't ask questions that would allow detection of whats called 'spin-doctoring' of information. I too made that huge mistake when, almost a full year later, it was learned that Mema was to have said that "I stole from her". Even though mom said she denied using the word 'stole', I believed Jimmy and offered to take every item back. This was almost a full year after the deed had occurred. I was shocked and deeply hurt that Mema, Linda and Gary, could have thought me capable of such things, but after her having told me of her neighbor stealing her toothpaste, this was attributed to her very real paranoia. However, I did end up with a box of stuff that included pellets for their sewer system; that box did have stuff that was not intended to take.
Naturally, I had no way of knowing our time on this earth with her would be so limited and knowing what I know today there would have been a full conversation with her so she did fully understood it was not about her. It WAS, at times, about influences that she'd been raised with that were not within her control, never personal at all, but much more the bad influences that she was being coached into.
My Girls
April, 2009
My Girls
There is no doubt that few men get the honor of raising and being involved with their kids to the extent that I was blessed to have. If they had any idea as to how rewarding it is, more would insist on taking several months off of work when their kids are born and then as much time as humanly possible during their careers to spend with them. They have no idea as to the joys of watching them grow, learn and lean on you when things do not go their way; of being the initial contact on those rides home from school. Nor do they have any idea as to how hard it is to let go.
Until the late middle school years we were blessed with predominantly positive experiences from traveling around Europe together as a family, learning to ski, horseback riding in Arizona, to those rides home from school or practice, to just sitting in the back watching the wind blow.
All the time spent with our menagerie of animals too was quite fun, from the squirrel, pheasants, doves, chickens, the rat that Glama Gene loved so well, and all our various cats and wonderful dogs.
Training the dogs was quite fun and I recall well Courtney, at a very young age, on the back hill with Sula, our best dog ever, "Come Sula, Sit Sula, Stay Sula!" with Sula doing EVERYTHING the instant she was told. That dog was the greatest and Benji too is quite a sweetheart.
Courtney was very confident and we were always afraid her lack of fear would land her in trouble as she never saw a stranger or a danger. Once when at the local pool after, thank G-d, I had already gotten in, she runs up to the edge and jumps into the pool, even though she had no idea yet how to swim. Needless to say the swimming lessons were on the calendar shortly thereafter. Then there was the time we got a call from her day care that she'd climbed up a tree and onto the ROOF of the building somewhere around 3 or 4 years old. I'm sure by the time she moved from Lafayette Montessori, Courtney had helped them plug every one of their security holes as I'm quite sure she found each and every one. Somehow she had managed to get out of the gate and was found waiting outside holding the hands of one of the younger kids waiting for their parent to arrive. Once very special incident to me, was shortly after Jordan was born. We soon noticed that every time dad held the new baby, Courtney, would walk up and insist on holding her. She recognized well the smile, the look of total love, but this time it was aimed in the wrong direction, and the only thing she knew for sure was, it was not aimed at her. Indeed there was a new princess in town, and she was feeling a little unsure as to the motives of this new born apparent competition. Her mom noticed too and one day asked her, “How come when I hold the baby it's OK, but when dad holds the baby, you take her away. Courtney said, without hesitation, “That's cuz he's my fun!” Thus my new nickname from mom became “Mr. Fun; needless to say this was never to be forgotten, well by Mr. Fun, anyway. During her annual trip to see her family in Arizona, Mema told us Courtney had asked her, “Can I go down the street to so and so's?” Mema replied, “No honey, if something happened to you I'd just die. To which Courtney replied, “Yes you would die because my mom and dad would kill you!”
Jordan on the other hand, gave no such worries, she stayed close and took a little more time to get to know people; this was true even as an infant. A stranger in the store would stop by, say hello and give her a smile. This, at 2 months, would trigger fierce cries of “who's that?” unknown mug. She literally torchered, accidentally of course, her Great Grandmother when they first met, and Jordan wanted nothing to do with her. Well at least until it was her own choice, as when Mema started showing attention to Courtney, then she decided Mema must be ok after all. One had to sit back and be patient and then, when it was her choice, she'd come around. Mema adored her granddaughters and told us while we were away Courtney had done something wrong. Mema said I told her, “That's a bad girl.” in the dated ways of her day, to which Courtney fiercely replied, “I am NOT a bad girl, what I did was bad!” and in probably an equally authoritative tone; and of course she was correct. Mema laughed and said, “You'd thought I'd hit her.” Another funny story during that trip was when Jordan had walked up to Pepa offering something she had hidden, cupped in her hand. He extended his hand and said, “What'cha got their sweetheart?”. After taking full possession of the secret, and adjusting his glasses to examine his new prize. He let's out “Oh my!”. She had gone potty in the bathroom, but not quite in the correct place. The result was now sitting in the palm of Pepa's hand with he not quite sure what to do next.
We also discovered at the annual Walnut Creek parade that Clowns were not one of her favorite creatures, au contraire; the distorted faces of clowns were downright freaky. The four of us were sitting near the curb, Courtney next to me and Jordan sitting on her mom's lap in front. When the first Clown came by and got a little too close for comfort, she jumped out of her mothers lap and into the larger, and farther, lap of her very protective father; yes, she wanted the big guns for these ugly creatures.
On another occasion when her uncle and I were horsing around and she misunderstood, it seemed like YEARS before she wanted to have anything to do with him for getting physical with her dad. Katrin too experienced this when we were horsing around in the kitchen and Jordan did not know what was going on. Even though she was about knee level to Katrin, who was quite tall, she walked right up to her, smacked her on the leg and ran back to dad; Katrin laughed and we were both amazed at her boldness.
Katrin too was a very special addition to our family from Buesum, a small town on the North Sea, in Germany; she literally merged with our family while here for a year as a foreign exchange student and took great care of both kids. We enjoyed several trips around Europe together, the entire family, all five of us. While in Sweden and boarding a ship going to Rostok, the five of us walked into a crowd of eastern Europeans making the same journey. The entire room of people turned and looked at us like we were Martians; Katrin said it was our brightly colored American style clothes. We drove off the boat through Rostok into the darkness of north eastern Germany, heading for the campground. After about 20 or 30 miles driving through the country, the same city exit sign kept coming up. “Ausfahrt 20K, “Ausfahrt 10K”, then finally “Ausfahrt”. Then, maybe 20 miles or so later the same sequence of signs, came up. I was totally confused as it appeared were somehow going in circles. “Katrin, I called out, “Please help me with the map, somehow we're going around in a circle and keep coming around to Ausfahrt”. She burst into laughter and explained “Ausfahrt” meant “Highway Exit” in German. Then after the late night drive, we finally arrived at our chosen campground. After we all stepped out for a stretch, me running a little behind, Jordan accidentally closed the door before I had gotten in the RV. Katrin said, “Jordan you closed the door on his face.”I quickly put my hands on top of my face and when the door opened said, “My face is soooo sore!” Katrin must have laughed for 10 minutes, and I loved every minute of it. I'll never forget Katrin and our long conversations about world politics. She was such a serious and highly intelligent young lady, and it got to meet and know her at a key time in a young ladies life. This when she was bordering on being a teen, sometimes longing for approval, but leaning more towards having and expressing her ideas and opinions. When we awakened the next morning we were greeted by giant wild Swans floating in the lake. This was a most incredible sight to behold and the only time these birds had ever been viewed in the wild. Others, seemingly in slow motion, came gliding, almost floating slowly down from the sky and gracefully landing in the water. This picture perfect moment of these majestic birds coming in for their morning bath and early spring socializing was far too short lived. There was another conspicuous sign that I'd not bothered to translate and as it was not within my German vocabulary which by then consisted of “Ausfart”. I walked by completely unaware of the dangers that lurked: “Anhanger”, said the sign. At least until the sign caught Katrin's attention. She then announces that we'd taken our family to a nudist campground and swimming lake. Say what? Well anyone that knows me can imagine the impact of learning this. Quickly the scene is scanned for any possible nakedness that might be lurking about, ready to pounce on my innocent daughters minds. Thank G-d we'd taken the early spring trip, thought I, it was about 35 degrees outside, and any “Anhangers” would at least be hidden under a coat. The kids were quickly gathered up, hustled into the RV, nearly getting air on the first bump down the dirt road towards the exit. Rocks were flying, but at least my young ladies were “safe” from any Anhangers and yes, we drove off far too quickly from literally a “Swan Lake”. It's worth commenting on how aware, at least I, became of the differences between the European and American cultures on nudity as this was not uncommon on public beaches; regardless of age or body type.
Jordan's having to walked in the shadow of her much older sister too did not help with her confidence and she had to work harder for her grades, which she always did like the summer before her seventh grade at WCI during which we both learned quite a bit. The following semester she landed on the honor role and we were all quite proud of her achievement. Every so often, her full potential would manifest as it did when she played the reporter in her school play of “The Three Little Pigs” in front of a standing room only crowd. The true and inner Jordan had was definitely on display that day as it would manifest many times throughout her childhood when the right coaches or teachers were there to accommodate her personality and visual orientation. She was my "you say jump" and she'd say "How high" kid.
Courtney was potty trained before she could walk, and even before she could speak really; if memory serves it was around six months. Her first word after mommy and daddy was 'Ba'. This meant she had to go to the bathroom and wanted to be placed on the potty. I'll never forget coming home and the baby sitter said, “She just kept saying “ba”, “Ba”, “BA!”, when we had forgotten to tell her what that meant. Not to mention being able to read quite well by the age of three. Teaching her was a simple matter of acting like we were keeping something from her, like I-C-E C-R-E-A-M. Every time we'd spell something, that little blond head would turn down and the brain would crank into high gear. Being the first born child of an avid, and retentive, reader, I had decided that sugar was bad and that we were going to keep this evil from her. Being possibly the only family in California with such a limitation this was doomed and to be as successful declaring water off limits. This likely eventuality first manifested after taking her to Phoenix to visit and being in a coffee shop with Grandma Honey. Her grandmother ordered a large ice cream desert and it was delivered dripping in chocolate and nuts. When retentive dad noticed her ogling the chocolaty delight, she was told, “That's Yucky Courtney.” Without hesitation she replied, “No yucky Goood”. Little did we know this unknown conspiracy was to lead to was to be known as “The Great Ding Dong” caper when she was about 3 years old. It was now certain the secret of sugar had somehow leaked, the kid was probably trading her entire lunch of nuts, fruits, carrots and a sandwich for but a single Ding Dong. Montessori told us she had been found in the lunch room snarfing the Ding Dongs out of other kids lunches. This was the final sign of what a truly Ding Dong I was for believing this policy would ever work.
Jordan, while on the shy side, soon lost her fears and had developed into someone that was quite gifted with people; many a parent came up to me and commented on what a sweet girl she was. She always wanted to please and to do exactly, or more usually, of what was expected of her. She was the hardest worker and quite gifted in the arts. This talent for the arts first revealed itself while still in the crib and what must have been her first art project was found on the adjacent wall. Her choice of “painting” media was quite limited in there, but let's just say she used what she had and an artist was born. She chose the single color available to her which was 'earth tone' brown. I'll also never forget the first time she responded to my morning 'Hi Jordan' with her own 'hi' in response. Off I ran to get her mom to hear her new achievement only to have her flat refuse to repeat what she'd said; this was the complete opposite of Courtney who loved performing her new skills on demand. Jordan could also write a poem in five minutes that would strike a deep chord in everyone's heart; quite an amazingly talent she had with emotions, feelings and words. She also has a type of wisdom that was as deep as the ocean and at times would come out with some of the most profound statements. One was “It must be hard being a tree.” Why, I said? “Because you have to be so still.” While it took Jordan longer to learn a task or lesson she seemed to have a deeper wisdom at applying this new knowledge; indeed, inside this girl lies a talented writer waiting to fully manifest. Courtney on the other remembered and questioned everything. Like the time she was told, “Nothing is free” and of course sooner or later I'd end up eating my words like the time free cookies were available at the local store. “See dad, some things are free!” In fact, naturally, the best things in life are free. Or “There's nothing you cannot do if you set your mind to it.”. To which she replied, “Oh yeah, what if I wanted to fly?” O.K., ya got me on that one. These were like challenges to her and no sooner than she was told then she'd set her mind to out smarting me; which frequently she did. Courtney's also a talented 'lateral' thinker and this became apparent when she was quite young. Once after taking over a critical project at St. Lukes in SF, the team was meeting at our house. We needed something we could put on the wall for project specifications and then take down to save. Courtney seemed to be listening in on the meeting and happen to overhear me stating we need those white sheets of plastic to put up on the wall upon which to write. She said, “What about the white garbage bags?” It was the perfect solution, and better yet in the cabinet nearby. That simple solution that had escaped the brains of 5 or 6 adults was found by a 9 year old and I said, “That was brilliant Courtney! Her reply was, “Really?” Every time I'd tell her something she done very well, she'd always say, “You're just saying that's because you're my dad.” Wrong! Little did the world know we were the proud owners of two of the smartest “blonds” in Walnut Creek. Another rather dicey moment was when Courtney made a reference to her moving out. I said, while filled with terror at the thought, “Well, once you move out you're out and cannot come back.” She said, “Oh dad, if I was hungry on the sidewalk you'd let me back in.” Another time Courtney went missing and every parent knows the fear this strikes into their heart. After looking high and low for what seemed like an eternity, I said to her mom, “Well we'd better call the police.” at which point Courtney said from under her bed, “Here I am...” She'd been hiding under the bed listening to us go crazy searching for her. I think this was a left over from another time when she did not get her way at about 7, and said, “Ok, then I'm leaving.” and we said, “Well Ok if that's what you really want.”. After a short time she came back and we learned later was very shocked we would actually allow her to leave. Apparently, she did not realize she'd never left our sight for a minute, but I recalled feeling a heart pang that in her head at that time anyway, she felt we'd just let her run away.
They were both also gifted with a very unusual courage as both were willing to go toe-to-toe with boys in their respective sports, football and basketball. Courtney by choice, was the first girl ever to play freshman football at Acalanes High School. Jordan, due to some circumstances with a CYA team, and with just a little push, played as the only girl on a boys basketball team; she did very, very well. One of her coaches said if the boys on his team worked as hard as Jordan they'd be a much better team, of course this was no surprise as this everyday hard work really defines Jordan.
Courtney too was a very hard worker on things that were important, things she really loved and/or wanted. Doing water polo literally treading water for two hours with her low fat body type, in addition to two hours of of full contact football, she was drilled into Marine shape. The first week she came home and said, "Dad, this is too much, I'm going to drop the water polo!" I said, "Oh no Courtney, you drop anything, you drop the football." That girl stuck both sports out for the full season and few, *if any*, boys that age could have done that. I must have been the only parent on the side lines hoping their kid would not be sent in to play. Courtney's physiotype was very unique, apparently, because when we were in Germany people would not give mom or Jordan strange stares; Polish genes perhaps. Courtney and I on the other hand were made to feel like we were from another planet.
Jordan and Courtney both are very sensitive, have huge hearts, are absolutely brilliant in their own respective, differing ways, and far too pretty for their and my own good. In fact they were both far too beautiful and sweet for any father's good, but what's really special is in their hearts and heads; their passion and courage was far beyond most of their age of either sex. There can be no doubt that these are indeed two of Walnut Creeks best and brightest young ladies, despite many attempts to give alternate impressions.
The Day to Come Fourth
It is so ironic that this blog was started on this date and it's dedicated to my girls who were my first casualties in this battle that started against Clinton, his s-called 'Democrat' and Republican friends to torch the American economy. This was done in 1998 when the cheap labor lobby successfully controlled our corporate media and passed the “American Competitiveness Act”.
The tool of choice was the same as that chosen by the powers behind the curtains of Rome. While the Patriarchs of Rome were coached into using slaves to be more competitive, our corporate leaders were led too by the nose of greed into off-shoring our economy to China and India. The benefits of this accrued only to those with cash, to buy up the casualties of this crash.
What I find very hard to believe, is that a lowly analyst/ programmer can see the similarities with the history of Rome and none of these 'smart' people running our great country could see this coming.
Why, in 2001, with all mainstream economists claiming that mortgage rates had to go up, did the banksters of this country appear to accelerate the process of making borderline variable interest loans?
Perhaps my 'paranoia', the same that spoke of what appeared to be a deliberate conspiracy to crash our economy in 1998, is getting the better of me, but could it have been to further spook the markets when the inevitable interest rate rose and all these loans went into foreclosure? The fact that displacing the local workforce was a key to crashing the economy of Rome, was learned of when tutoring my daughter the summer before her 7th grade social studies for Walnut Creek Middle School.]
How in the world could anyone refer to our returning veterans as 'potential threats' to our country, when others in higher positions, can act to, apparently, deliberately cripple the country economically? Did they skip the 7th grade and accidentally pull the same 'mistake' as the Romans?
The tool of choice was the same as that chosen by the powers behind the curtains of Rome. While the Patriarchs of Rome were coached into using slaves to be more competitive, our corporate leaders were led too by the nose of greed into off-shoring our economy to China and India. The benefits of this accrued only to those with cash, to buy up the casualties of this crash.
What I find very hard to believe, is that a lowly analyst/ programmer can see the similarities with the history of Rome and none of these 'smart' people running our great country could see this coming.
Why, in 2001, with all mainstream economists claiming that mortgage rates had to go up, did the banksters of this country appear to accelerate the process of making borderline variable interest loans?
Perhaps my 'paranoia', the same that spoke of what appeared to be a deliberate conspiracy to crash our economy in 1998, is getting the better of me, but could it have been to further spook the markets when the inevitable interest rate rose and all these loans went into foreclosure? The fact that displacing the local workforce was a key to crashing the economy of Rome, was learned of when tutoring my daughter the summer before her 7th grade social studies for Walnut Creek Middle School.]
How in the world could anyone refer to our returning veterans as 'potential threats' to our country, when others in higher positions, can act to, apparently, deliberately cripple the country economically? Did they skip the 7th grade and accidentally pull the same 'mistake' as the Romans?
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